1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.
“We felt we were doomed to die and saw how POWERLESS we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us. “ 2Corinthians 1:9
“Hitting bottom” is painful, especially when we have spent a lifetime covering up our problems in order to appear successful and serene, particularly in a church setting! A person who has been using drugs and/or alcohol to “socialize” but eventually uses in order to just feel normal has crossed an invisible line into addiction. This can be a lonely, frightening place! Loving someone who is addicted is like loving two people – the drunk one and the sober one (confusing!) It usually takes a painful crisis for any of us to realize our need for help. As long as we think we can handle it (drugs, alcohol, loved one’s addictions) we just stay on a roller coaster of denial. Once we “give up” (surrender) – that’s when God steps in and does for us what we can’t do for ourselves.
A. Powerlessness and helplessness:
- Num. 11.:11-17 Luke 13:10-13
- Jer. 9:23-24 Rom. 5:1-6
- John 15:5 Rom. 7:18-8:2
- 2 Cor. 3:4-5 2 Cor. 1:9
- Prov. 28:13 Phil. 3:3b
B. Man’s extremity of weakness becomes God’s opportunity to help:
- Psa. 116:1-9 Mark 5:21-29
- Mark 4:35-41 Psa. 147:10-11
- 2 Cor. 10:3-4
C. Strength in weakness:
- 2 Cor. 12:1-10 Eph. 3:16
- Heb. 11:32-34 Isa. 40:28-31
My name is Kiela – Step 1
Finally I am in a place where I am humbled enough to realize that I am truly powerless over my overeating. I chose to seek an overcomers anonymous group instead of overeaters because I also want to overcome other areas of sin in my life including: laziness, indulgence in TV and other forms of entertainment (books, computer, etc). Overeaters doesn’t necessarily address this. I found your reference list to scripture over numerous challenging emotions to be so helpful. Not any physical meetings close to me but this online forum may prove to be enough. I lump all of my issues into the category of selfishness really. I want to stay stuck in my issues, my pleasures and I exclude God, my family and friends from the focus of my life. God is brought me to the desert as he did Jonah after speaking in Nineveh and although God made a shade tree grow to relieve the heat, I am still in the desert of my issues. I have tried numerous times over the past few months to “overcome” on my own and within days I fail. The heat is still on. Through the discomfort of my consequences God has shown me that I am completely stuck without his Grace. We are down to trust and choice. I choose to stay in the discomfort of the unknown of “how” he will rescue me. I choose to trust in His plan and now only pray for His knowledge.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3: 5,6)
I would like to remain anonymous and perhaps use a name that reminds me of what Christ has done for me, Redeemed.
Looking at step one I have to admit that I am powerless over my husband’s drinking. It has caused friction in our marriage and within our relationship.
He is such a special man with wonderful qualities yet drinking is eroding parts of his life. It grieves my heart that he cannot see that he has a problem or that things could be better in our relationship. He does not fall down drunk and does not become abusive but consumes quite a bit each day. It changes his way of being. I have denied and then tried to fix the problem for so many years, I cannot do that anymore.
The Lord in his grace and mercy is with me, I am learning to lean on his wisdom more fully now and not on my own understanding. As I surrender and re-surrender this… I learn more about trusting and knowing Almighty Father God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. This is a process and a journey. I am learning too that growth and change happen in relationship. Unhealthy co-dependent ways stopped me from sharing this burden with others. That is changing now as I start to open up to people in my life. I am grateful for all that the Lord has taught me over the years, in gentle and continued love, strengthening me as a person, never leaving me in my inner struggles that often felt like war zones. The Lord is my Redeemer and I am his Redeemed.
I was encouraged by the scripture found in Mark 4:35–41. The disciples and Jesus crossed the lake. Jesus fell asleep in the boat. A fierce storm came up, the disciples were afraid. They woke Jesus asking him “Don’t you care that we’re going to drown?” Jesus woke up. Rebuked the wind and said to the waves to be silent. Suddenly the wind stopped and there was great calm. Jesus asked his disciples “Why are you afraid – do you still have no faith?” This offers me hope that Jesus can still the storm within my life and that he has the power to do a work within my hubby. My faith does falter and I do become afraid, yet I can trust in Jesus. He stills the storms as we call out to him.
Thank you for the opportunity to share. I welcome your comments and support, In Christ – Redeemed
Hi, reviewing step one this morning was such a comfort and good reminder of how alone and isolated i have become…especially since I have been stuck in the insanity of my husbands addiction. I have been unable to share what has happened with anyone but God. He has shown me that I need others to help me through.
My husband is physically and verbally abusive when he is on his drug of choice. He becomes belligerent, hurtful and blaming. I dont get any sleep when he is on a binge. He is up all night, loud and disrespectful. I try to sleep and just pray for calm. As these binges became more frequent over the past several months…I realize that satan has truly entered our home…that my husbands addiction is destroying everything…not just our relationship…but my faith and my inner being. It has robbed me of my joy and freedom that I know God has so faithfully given to me. He died for me and at one time, I can remember, no matter what the circumstance, I was able to to feel that power. Now I feel darkness and destruction, just as satan wants me to. The issue is that my own anger has gotten completely out of control. I feel bitter and rageful, ungodly and unable to connect with God and his wisdom. Just has my husbands disease has progressed, so has mine. He blames me for our relational issues and projects all of the problems drugs have brought into our lives on to me. “im a bad wife…im untrustworthy..im this and that. You get the idea. My life has become comepletelu unamanageable. The problem is…I am starting to believe the lies my husband tells me..starting to believe that I am the problem and that I am not a ‘good enough’ wife. Im starting to believe the manipulation and lies he tells me…the ones that satan has planted in his heart. Its gotten really messy..and to further complicate the issue, I dont feel I can confide in ANYONE. I work in drug and alcohol treatment as a therapist and I am hiding the fact that my husband is using drugs in our home and I cant seem to get up enough courage to leave him…even to leave the situation. I just stay in it, forget all my tools and get more and more angry. So, I am living a life that is a complete SHAM. I havent shared how bad it is with another soul. Jesus knows and that has been my only outlet. Now He has promted me to come out of isolation and seek help for myself. I havent even told my therapist all that has happened. Icant quite figure out why? I guess it must be shame and another way for the devil to persecute me and keep me stuck. It feels good to share this for the first time. It feels so good and I am so grateful to have a place to share this. Yes, I have almost 8 years of sobriety from drugs and alcohol myself…now my addiction is co-dependency. I worked a program for many years and was very involved in local overcomers with my own addiction. For some reason…i just cant seem to get myself to meetings in order to work through this. Im praying for willingness to do make this a priority. Im at BOTTOM – I am completely powerless over my husbands drug use and my life has become unmanageable. ONLY you, GOD has the power to restore me to sanity and I turn my will and my life over to you, Jesus. Hourly, daily I repeat these 3 steps to myself and I feel grateful that I have finally broke the silence. I am finally awknowleding what is happening and that I feel responsible for it. I admit it . Thank you so much for being there. Thank you God for the steps and for organizations like this one. Thank you to all who read this and for your prayers. Im going to try and come back on a regular basis. I found a meeting in my area on sat mornings. Going to try and get a sponsor and get the help I need- God please give me the willingness to seek you. God bless all…especially those that are still suffering…including my husband. In Him, “I Surrender”.
All of the posted comments are refreshingly honest, and encouraging. Perhaps I will glean from these comments, and start to believe that there is actually life-long sobriety for me, too. I love God more than anything, but there is so much more to alcoholism than pure self-absorbment. It runs much deeper than the issue of merely being selfish. It is a compulsion that when we allow to “cross the line” over to dependence, becomes a frightening, and confusing maze of insanity! We need to pray for one another; never judge!
This sounds like the right place for me as AA doesn’t work for me. My life is wonderful in many ways. I’m physically fit, love the Lord but at least one bottle every night with perhaps a one day break a week and sometimes drink two a night. It’s so tasty and I can’t seem to stop, no matter how hard I pray.